The 2008 Michigan football season saw a dismal opening yesterday in Ann Arbor. Michigan lost to Utah, 25-23, although the game was not nearly that close. Let’s be clear: Utah whupped Michigan badly.  This is going to be a very long season.

The Michigan offense was absolutely pathetic.  Michigan rushed for a total of 34 yards in the entire game.  Of eleven third down opportunities, the Wolverines converted on only two.  Honestly, I can’t remember ever seeing statistics that bad for Michigan.  The offensive line crumbled upon any kind of pressure whatsoever, and when Michigan actually did advance the ball (which was rare), players seemed utterly incapable of breaking even a single tackle.  The offensive play calling was also abysmal; on multiple third-and-long opportunities, Michigan went for the 2-3 yard short gain option.

The offensive line failures are the result of multiple problems inherent in the program.  First, Michigan is playing under a new “spread” or “quasi-spread” offense, which requires a strong, mobile quaterback.  Neither of Michigan’s quarterbacks, Steven Threet and Nick Sheridan, are strong or mobile.  Second, nearly the entire offense (save only two players) are brand new; Michigan lost a whopping nine offensive starters as a result of graduation and worse, defection (I’m talking about Ryan Mallett and Juston Boren, who are traitorous assholes).  In short, the offense is awful, and there’s no reason to expect it to improve at any point in the near future.

The defense was also terrible.  In the first half, Michigan’s defensive line gave up an average of 7.5 yards per play.  This is an abysmal failure by any standard.

The defensive worries are deeply disturbing, because the Wolverines retained more than half of last year’s top-ten defense.  In other words, these guys were supposed to be good.  This is the same defense that, last year, was incapable of defending the spread.  These are the same Wolverines responsible for the two ugliest words in college football: App, and State.  Rich Rodriguez was hired as Michigan’s coach to stop that nonsense, to bring these guys up to speed, to teach them how to defend the spread.  Apparently, he failed to do so.

Everything about Michigan this year is different.  We have a new coach, a new quarterback, an entirely new offensive line, a relatively new defense and a new “spread” playbook.  We even have a new stadium.  But by any standard — and certainly, by Michigan standards — this new era of Michigan football is off to a terrible start.  Honestly, this is the worst Michigan football team I have ever seen.

In a transition year, such as this, I don’t expect my team to win every game.  Sure, I’d like them to win every game, but I understand that every so often you need to break in a new coach or a new quarterback.  In a transition year, such as this, I expect there to be some kinks in the system that need ironing.

As a Michigan fan, however, one thing I do not tolerate is a losing season.  Michigan hasn’t seen a losing season since 1967, and hasn’t failed to go to a bowl game in 33 years.  Michigan has a top tier recruiting class every year, and frankly, we just simply do not tolerate mediocrity for very long.

I tell you now, we are in extreme danger of seeing a losing season at Michigan.  I’ve never said that before.  I’ve never worried about that before.  This is worst Michigan football team I have ever seen, and for the first time ever, I am genuinely worried that they’re going to lose most of their games.

It’s very simple.  We’re clearly not going to win the national championship this year.  I doubt we’ll go to a BCS bowl game.  I don’t even think we should worry about the conference championship.  For this year, it’s simple: Win 7 games.  That’s all we have to do.  And there are 11 opportunities left.

Michigan (even this pathetic version of Michigan) should beat: Miami of Ohio, Notre Dame, Toledo, Purdue and Minnesota.  That’s five.  These are must win games if we have any shot at a winning season and bowl invitation.

Michigan will most likely lose to Ohio State.  I’m sorry to say that, but that’s just how it is this year.

That leaves us with five remaining games in the season which could, frankly, go either way.  Michigan must therefore win two of the following: Wisconsin, Illinois, Penn State, Michigan State and Northwestern.

Winning two of those — hell, winning even one of those games — with this squad is a tall order.  We are in for a very, very rough ride.